Recently I saw a post on my Instagram feed and it more or less said to address your awareness out loud. So whenever you are aware of a trigger, mention it. I thought about it for a second and then I decided to try and put it in action. Ever since I’m in a serious relationship I have noticed that whenever we genuinely address our errors to each other it easily clears the air. When spoken out by one of us, it usually makes us laugh because we realize that it is a ridiculous reaction to a not so big deal.
Me and my partner address this under the flag of “an error”. As an example one might think about me cleaning the house (I have written about this before and it is a huge trigger for me to start behaving unreasonably).
An error (between us) is an unrealistic triggered reaction. So when I’m cleaning and shouting away because it triggers my miserable state, my partner will say something like “Ah honey, that’s a cute little error you got there”. And because we have agreed upon the use of this word ‘error’ it always hits me with ease.
It doesn’t bother me at all that he calls me out because we have a silent agreement about it. As soon as we are talking about errors, he or me is usually right.
And then it just makes us laugh, because all of the sudden awareness kicks in and we are in that moment both aware of the fakeness of the whole situation.
So if it works between us, why wouldn’t it work for only me?
Well, right now I am trying this new thing and I’m beginning to really love it. So now when I’m cleaning and I get triggered into an error I will say to myself “Well, hello self-pity how are you today?”. Immediately I feel lighter. Immediately I trigger awareness and create a gap in which I can decide whether or not I want to ride out my emotional wave. And of course I’d rather not. I’d rather not loose my shit. Like most people I carry many triggers with me that I have collected in the past. They are all old versions of me, hanging around, waiting to be triggered. Because they are unhealed or simply because I had no prior awareness and I left them lingering.
It is one thing to have awareness within, but it is another thing to speak about your awareness out loud.
Saying things out loud instead of just thinking it seems much more powerful.
I don’t know about you but I don’t like to feel sad and fucked all the time. I like to feel light and happy. Awareness creates a moment for you to decide upon your next step or direction. And by addressing it out loud you can actually hear how ridiculous the situation really is.
So start addressing your unwanted reactions and emotions out loud! Hello jealousy, hello anger, hello laziness, hello procrastination, hello self-pity. Start cleaning up your unwanted reactions. Start laughing about the fact that you carry all of these silly little triggers with you that have long past their expiration date. If you look at my household error it has been sticking to me since my teenage years. Mind you, I am forty years of age at the time I’m writing this. So my sad little self carried this unwanted reaction along for at least two decades. Two decades long I pitied myself whilst cleaning my own house. Even writing this makes me laugh. How easy it is to loose awareness and carry with you an immense bundle of bullshit.
I plan to stop it as soon as possible and that’s why I started this new habit. I hope it made you laugh and I hope that maybe it can be of benefit to you too. Cheers.
“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?”
