This text is part of my ongoing reflection on self-awareness, emotional patterns, and conscious growth.
In this essay, I reflect on big dreams and their outcomes – and whether or not to question this narrative.
Yesterday, we had dinner on a catamaran. It was anchored in the harbor and we were invited by our friends. Our bold and courageous friends left the Netherlands in September to embark on the trip of a lifetime. They packed up their shit and their two children and decided on actually living their biggest dream: a one-year sailing expedition with the family.
I can assure you, it was a delight to step into someone else’s grand dream, if only to reflect on my own dreams. The boat was much more spacious than we had anticipated and the overall vibe felt comfortable and familiar. During dinnertime we spoke about their trip, about the places they have visited and the–unforeseen–challenges that arose. Apparently their time in Italy was prolonged due to a broken keel and this has led them to question the remainder of their plan.
Envisioned in their dream was crossing the Atlantic Ocean to enjoy some time in the Caribbean as well as to transform this dream trip into a worldwide adventure. But because of the delays presented to them in Italy, their crew can no longer join them on their crossing.
So now they are pondering what to do; “leave their dream behind” or “transform the requirements for their dream to succeed”.
And these are exactly the types of decisions that you can only relate to and decide on when they are presented to you. And in order for these decisions to be presented to you, you need to at least commence your journey. What I mean to say is: Sometimes we might have a tendency to dream too big. But we will only know for certain after we have commenced. Without the dream, the journey would have never started.
It does not matter whether they will sail to the Americas or not. What matters is that they dropped everything and decided not to wait for life. They went. With two kids!
To me, my friends are heroes of the silent kind.
The people who refuse to limit their reality to expectations. The people who dare to chase their dreams and show us all what is possible, even after they have settled into family life.
I asked them what ‘crossing the Atlantic Ocean’ would add to their dream. Beforehand the crossing would have played a big role in their preparations and it would have given them much excitement, but now that the trip is in full swing, water is just water. A sea, an ocean, another sea, another ocean. It took this challenge for them to realize that they have already overcome every obstacle to enter their dream. They are already living it every day. Crossing the ocean would mean two weeks of hardship, little sleep and lots and lots of work. And then when you finally do arrive at the East Coast of the United States, chances are you need to get out of there for the start of hurricane season.
You never know how your dreams will play out in reality.
All I know is that if you dream too big and it keeps you from incorporating this dream into your reality you will miss out.
No dream is too big to start. Go for it, chase them anyway! I cannot tell you if you are meant to live it in the exact way you dreamed it, but life will show you.
And maybe crossing the ocean was never an actual requirement for their dream to succeed. Maybe it was more about just being bold. For stepping out of a straitjacket and freeing your life from unwanted restrictions.
And so the insight of this essay is quite clear. Dreams evolve.
Dreams are constantly changing. Not because we do not deserve them. Not because we need to be taught a lesson, but because we ourselves are no longer the same person once we start living our dreams. As you get older, they become bigger or smaller – or irrelevant even. Even when you start stepping into your dream, it can still change. But by that time, at least you started living it. You will never have to wonder about what would have happened if you had chased your dreams.
My dreams are big, too big maybe, but it will never stop me from working towards them, living them and living through the transformation of my dreams. Setbacks can become valuable insights that add strength to your foundation. They can turn into the wisdom you wanted to achieve from your endeavors and can even become indispensable in hindsight.
Would they have known about all the possible challenges, they might still be at home.
So dream big, or stay at home – these are the two options we all have. Nothing happens or something happens. And alas, we will never know how our future will play out, but at least it can start with backing yourself and granting yourself the possibility of your dreams evolving.
This text is an open reflection.
More guided, integrative essays are gathered in my paid essay series on Ko-fi.
“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.”
