This text is part of my ongoing reflection on self-awareness, emotional patterns, and conscious growth.
This essay is focused on opinions. Opinions feel solid when we hold them, but most of them are nothing more than passing wind.
The word opinion originates from the Latin language and the literal meaning of the word is ‘belief’, stemming from the verb ‘opīnārī’, meaning to think or to suppose. As you can see an opinion has never been more than a belief and yet we find ourselves in a timeframe where people value their own opinions over gold.
Why is that we value opinions and worse, why do we seek approval for our beliefs elsewhere?
Let’s first take a look at my own opinions to see how this plays out in my life. Opinions can be stubborn, but over time most of them are likely to change. One stubborn opinion of mine during my early adult years was: “Going to school and doing what is expected of you, will lead to happiness”.
For years and years I thought this conviction of mine to be true. In fact, I even tried pushing people in ‘the right direction’. And it was all stemming from programming (my mothers wishes for me) and society’s wishes for most people. I had never reached happiness and yet I thought I knew exactly how to get there. And even though life presented itself completely differently to me, I kept fighting towards the same direction, until my point of no return.
I had followed my opinion persistently and I had set goals to obtain my happiness, but at one point during my life I could no longer uphold my own beliefs. My own viewpoint had led me to the slaughterhouse. I was so tired of chasing happiness in the wrong places and my mind was running overtime.
I had held on to my opinion out of fear of never reaching happiness. I clung to it, because I did not think there were other options available.
All options that fit the social narrative were added to my happiness list long before and I had chased them for years in order to secure a sense of happiness. But my newly acquired driver’s license did not bring relief. My trip to Costa Rica did not cure my state of mind and my newly bought apartment could not save me from depression. I had procured all my goals and yet happiness was nowhere to be found.
And thus I had no other option than to let go of my opinion. As stubborn as it was, it did not lead me to where I wanted to be. And slowly but surely I noticed that happiness meant something entirely different to me. I gradually found out that happiness comes with a sense of autonomy and freedom to my life and that for me these feelings are found within creation. And so we arrive at my current opinion: “Happiness is different for everyone, a personal treasure hunt during your life.”
I don’t know whether or not this newly found opinion of mine is a truth, I have yet to live it. In this moment, it is simply derived from heading in the wrong direction priorly. And so these days I find it hard to pressure others into grasping the importance of my opinions.
The older I get, the less these beliefs seem to matter to me.
Opinions come and go like the wind.
We try to hold on to them because they give us a sense of purpose, because they ignite a spark within us that can lead to action.
And we present them during conversations in order to feel valued and understood. Often times we barely even listen to the person speaking in the moment. Most of the time we are just waiting to drop our own opinions into the mix. We cannot wait to share our view and to achieve like-mindedness. But the -painful- truth of the matter is, an opinion only holds personal value, because it is a personal belief.
Then why do we feel the need for a sense of encouragement in our personal flavor? What difference does it make? We are fighting for beliefs that blow in and out of our lives as tornadoes. We cling on to them and try to gain importance on our thought patterns in order for us to achieve validation over our choices.
And then what? Then we still need to change ourselves. We can collect all the support we want but we still need to live by our own beliefs in order for us to feel actual relief. And so I find myself often times just listening to other people’s opinions. I barely feel the need to add my own juice. I don’t even care whether or not I agree to someone else’s view. I don’t feel the need to defend myself towards gusts of wind.
I let them blow their opinions out and I wait for them to pass. Because it is a given that they will pass. And we do not have to agree with everyone all the time. It does not have to turn into an argument every single time. We can choose to simply observe conversations and actually listen. And yes of course you can still add your stories to a conversation, but you will be more open to the unimportance of it all. You will be conscious of the fact that someone else’s opinion is of no value to you. And more importantly, you will find that your opinions are of no value to others.
It is easy to crash someone else’s beliefs with a single hard-shot. But what does it get you? Do you gain anything by dimming other people’s opinions? And who is to say your current opinion holds any value? Who is to say whether or not your gust of wind will soon die down?
Ever since I became more aware of this pattern in my life, I started to notice that it matters far less than I once believed. You can listen to people sharing their beliefs with you and you do not have to agree at all. And you can still nod. It is irrelevant. It does not shape who you are. Nobody is watching you to see if you will come out on top.
The only thing that matters is whether or not your opinions have your best interest at heart.
The moral of this essay? Maybe it is time that we personify our opinions. Maybe we should not use them in our interactions with others. Maybe we should only measure opinions by the amount of good it pours into our own cups. And yes, we can still share our opinions, but at least from an intrinsic perspective, we do not need anyone but ourselves to value our own opinions.
And thus we need to only evaluate them for our own good. For our own growth. And we should question them all the time. Because we want what is best for us and we want to use our opinions as tools as opposed to weaponizing ourselves towards extrinsic opinions.
We want our opinions to operate as wind shields rather than ventilators.
Maybe we want the winds in our lives to be gone, not to be defended. Perhaps we want people to travel their own opinions without our intervention, because we are aware of our ever-changing opinions and the triviality of it all. These days I no longer enter discussions that do not genuinely interest me. I am not interested in politics, and I cannot tell you who is right or wrong. So I choose to listen to others, not because it rings true, but because the subject simply holds no value to me. Not engaging is not avoidance for me — it is a deliberate choice.
This text is an open reflection.
More guided, integrative essays are gathered in my paid essay series on Ko-fi.
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
