Because we tend to live from our own point of view and our own mindset, we often think all people are like us. But are they really? When I was younger, people would often disappoint me. I felt personally attacked by all people around me constantly and it cost me a lot of energy. They were so easy to hurt me and I let them. Even after something was said or done to me, I would continue to suffer. I felt like a victim, like I hadn’t deserved to be treated that way. In a situation like this there are two things you can do. You can either remain in this state of victimhood or you can choose to learn and step out of it.
We are all here on this earth to grow and learn. You start as a tiny baby, needing to learn everything from moving around to talking, listening and gradually getting better at life. But then when we reach the state of adulthood, we think we are done. We think we know it all and we think that life will get easier from there on. It does not get easier and you do not outgrow your lessons.
Your whole life is about leveling up, learning lessons and it never stops.
So when you’re an empathetic person, you will encounter all sorts of people who take advantage of you in your life. Of course, you feel like you are the kind person and you are a victim of these people’s behaviors, but are you really? Maybe being an empath and dealing with that attitude is one of your lessons. Start reading up about narcissistic personalities, start reading about energy vampires. Learn to understand the red flags, learn to deal with other kinds of people from the start of your relation with them. The problem is often that you already feel some kind of love towards a person, because you let yourself love someone even though the red flags were there. I am not saying it is easy to take this back, but for future purposes you have the option to arm yourself with knowledge.
Then you reach the point where you can start playing around with your lessons. You will listen to people more intently, because you know that other people can damage you, even though they seem nice from the start. Don’t be fooled by a psychopath’s charms, don’t be swooned by a narcissist’s superficial state of self-confidence.
Get to know yourself and equally important, get to understand others around you.
When you do this you will notice that people (including yourself) do and say everything from their own point of view. Almost everything a person says or does, is personal to them. Why make it personal to you? Why value everything other people do and say as truth? For instance, when I insult another person, it is often my own state of mind. Whenever people feel bad on the inside, they tend to lash out to other people. This is not an exclusive narcissist trait, it is in all of us. So maybe someone close to you insults you, but when you take a closer look, that person might have just had a bad day themselves. Why take it personally? Why would you feel hurt by their inability to behave properly in that specific point of time?
Ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside. A simple sentence, to remind yourself that people’s outer world is nothing more than what they let themselves experience in their inner world. If you like to contemplate this and check whether this information seems right to you, maybe you should think back on all the ugly things you have said and done to other people and whether you were in a right state of mind at the given time.
We often get so caught up in stress and let what we read and see in the media decide our moods, that we are too busy to see that we are ruining it ourselves.
Stop getting caught up in negative emotions. It is a cycle that people all over the world are projecting to be our reality. If everyone on this planet took care of their own mental health and happiness, there would only be minor problems. We create the world with our thoughts, feelings, actions and words. Why then do we choose them to be ugly, fearful and stressed? I imagine a world so beautiful that I get to live it every day. Even though other people might be crumbling down right beside me, I still don’t let it affect my mood. I am happy and grateful most of the time and it is what I expect back in my daily reality. Try it for yourself and see what you can project into your life.
“Projection is one of the commonest psychic phenomena…Everything that is unconscious in ourselves we discover in our neighbor, and we treat him accordingly.”
