This text is part of my ongoing reflection on self-awareness, emotional patterns, and conscious growth.
Even though life has repeatedly treated me unfairly, I have always been a firm believer in the assertion that we are all equal. But lately it has me pondering. You see, if we are all equal, then why does my family not treat me as such? Upon reading Proverbs 19:22 (KJV) my ponderings were triggered even more so. It says that “The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar” and it seems to imply that not all men are equal.
In this world that we are living in, inequality presents itself through material means.
Some men are poor, some men are rich. Some women roam the streets with a Hermes bag, and some carry a plastic bag. Some drive a Bentley and others ride a bike. And it keeps this image of inequality very much alive within our minds. And even so, it is a concept that I cannot and will not accept. And so in order to find truth in this matter, it would be better to change the perspective. And I am happy to share my thoughts on this matter.
I believe we are all born with the same potential.
We are all born alike, with the same inherent promise, but due to our circumstances and the choices we make, we slowly drift apart. And because our society emphasizes these differences, it makes us feel a certain way. These feelings lead to beliefs and this trickles down into our behavior. And people start to look down on, or up to, other people depending on their perspective. This division has always bothered me.
For instance, when I think about racism, it is something that has never made any sense to me. I was born to a Dutch father but my mother’s roots lie in Indonesia. I never chose this, it literally just happened to me. It is how I came into this world.
I find it odd that we condemn people based on
matters that they were never responsible for.
How does that even work? How can anyone justify these beliefs? It baffles me.
So, let us take a closer look at what I meant with potential. My sister and I are both born and raised in the same family, but our choices have been very different. And this always seems to lead back to the concept of accountability. Whereas my sister believes everything that happens in her life is someone else’s fault, I have always tried to change myself. Well, not always. I started out trying to save other people, or inspire other people, but in reality it didn’t accomplish anything. And at one point in time I started pouring into myself instead of trying to help others.
And you might be thinking that children born in rich families have it easier,
but I invite you to reconsider.
Rich people might be better at manipulation for instance, and thus their children battle a totally different deprivation compared to children born into poor families. This is just an example, but I mean to say that we are all presented with hardship during our lives. For some, growing up, their hardship might be something as basic as access to clean drinking water, whereas for others it might be slander and manipulation through the behavior of their narcissistic parents.
But the bottom line of this lesson is the same for all.
Because the lesson here is: do not give up. Believe in yourself. Believe that change is possible. Believe that anything is possible. From my perspective, I grew up poor compared to the people around me. But if I were to compare my situation to children growing up on the streets, I consider myself to be a rich girl. Either way, I have endured many struggles and adversity during my life and the only thing that separates me from my siblings is the fact that I have an innate belief in my purpose, my purpose being ‘becoming the best version that I can possibly be’.
I’m guessing my sister already thinks she is the best version that she can be, and it is exactly what has driven us apart. And only a few weeks ago, I started treating her according to this difference. In the past I would always choose to see her potential, but it always ended up hurting me. Now, I choose to see her through the lens of her accountability, which is lacking, to say the least. And it leaves me with no choice but to distance myself from her. Not because I wish her harm, but because my presence does not ignite change within her.
And I no longer feel the need to keep myself in harm’s way when it has become clear
that my presence does not change the situation.
I have written this many times before: you cannot change anybody except yourself. And I have changed. I have taken accountability for my behavior. We are equal in our inherent human worth and in our capacity for growth, but we are not equal in the degree to which we take responsibility for our choices. When one does not take accountability for their choices, that difference begins to present itself in 3D. So, let’s go back to the passage in Proverbs 19:22, which states that ‘a poor man is better than a liar’. And even though not every narrative that is disconnected from the truth is necessarily a conscious lie, accountability begins when we are willing to examine our own narrative. And when someone is repeatedly presented with the truth and still chooses to reject it in order to protect their own story, refusing to see becomes a choice.
Right now, I am poor. My poverty is a consequence of the accountability I have taken for my own life. But I am only poor when I am looked at through a 3D lens. Because I am actually not. I am very very rich. This morning I was standing in the rain, enjoying the feeling of the raindrops falling down on my face, when two parakeets flew right past my face. It made me laugh out loud because it took me by surprise. And I had not noticed that two elderly people were watching this from a short distance. It made them laugh as well. So, here we were, complete strangers laughing in the rain. If that isn’t abundance, then I don’t know what is.
And so we are all the same,
but in order for us to experience this equality in our reality,
we need to change our perspectives.
What is poor? What is rich? What is your potential? And how are you choosing to deal with it? I choose to step in the direction of my potential at all times and I hope I inspire you to do the same. Because whenever you look at other people through the lens of comparison—through slander, racism or whatnot—you must understand that this affects you equally.
It is a different kind of equality,
but the truth of the matter is “you reap what you sow”.
So if you find yourself to be a racist, expect it to circle back in your reality, or even within your own mind. And then think about how you were born and how you had zero influence on your skin color. Would you still be able to condemn others? Ugly thoughts about other people turn back like a boomerang and fill your own mind with poison. If that is what you wish for yourself, be my guest. It is no longer bothering me. I will only distance myself from you.
Because we are all the same.
And wherever you find yourself in life right now, it is not too late to change. I see incredibly intelligent children, whereas I only started realizing these truths at a later stage in life. But it does not matter. You do you. And I hope we all find each other in our highest potential.
What a world it would be.
What a loving place.
Almost like a new earth.
This text is an open reflection.
More guided, integrative essays are gathered in my paid essay series on Ko-fi.
“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.”
