This text is part of my ongoing reflection on self-awareness, emotional patterns, and conscious growth.
All my life people have called me Mickey and it wasn’t until I could read that I understood that it was not my birthname. Me and my siblings all received four names upon entering this realm. My birthname is Marie Christine Catherine Justine. It is a beautiful name indeed but for some reason it used to embarrass me. It used to embarrass me because everything in my life was upside down. It was done this way on purpose, or so I have come to realize.
None of my other siblings were given a ‘strange’ nickname.
Why would you give someone a stately name only to change it one month after birth? Unless you dislike your child of course and it seemed to be the case. Mickey is a boys name and furthermore it is a reference to a satanic Disney mouse. What a joke. And although this gimmick fits my joyous personality, it has been on my mind lately.
Because everything that happened to me, happened for a reason. It was all programming me. We think of MK Ultra as something that happened somewhere far away, something belonging to intelligence agencies and history books. But to me, the idea of programming became much more personal. I started seeing it under my own roof, directed towards me. Mickey Mouse. And in Dutch, it rhymes with words that made the nickname even easier to turn into a humiliation. Because when you feel like someone is better than you, you will make them an easy target.
What could I have ever said to defend myself against people mocking my name?
At one point during my adulthood I thought about changing my name back to Marie or Marie Christine, but I did not follow through. Back then I was researching satanism and the likes and I concluded that I was going to turn the energy surrounding this name into something positive. Something positive like myself.
But now, a few years later,
it feels like I am willingly maintaining their humiliation ritual.
And I no longer see any reason to entertain these people. These people who actively tried to humiliate me for such a long time. And so from now on I will be using my God-given name. Because I remember who I am and I already have the appropriate name to accompany my grand purpose. So Marie Christine it is.
Because I am Mary, directing her life towards the Most High: Christ.
It is literally who I am.
I guess they did not want me to find this out. But in all their attempts to program me, they hadn’t done enough research. You see, the characteristics of this little Disney mouse are exactly the characteristics that have led me to these conclusions. Mickey Mouse is optimistic and cheerful, clever and resourceful, kind-hearted and mischievous. Like me.
And it is my curiosity, my kind-heartedness, my cleverness
and resourcefulness that have led me to see right through all their nonsense.
Marie Christine in simple gematria is the number 151, which reduces to 7, the divine number. Mickey on the other hand is 66 in simple gematria. Can you see what they did here? They tried to box me in, even by lowering my name in gematria. If you do not know what gematria is, it might be time for some research. Because this matrix is running on numbers and nothing seems to be a coincidence.
So here I am, pondering on a decision.
Do I change my name back to my original birthname, or should I just let it slide? It might seem to you like I am exaggerating, but you have no idea what I have been through with this name. You see, Mick rhymes with d*ck, amongst other words. And it is what people have mirrored back to me my entire childhood. My siblings, ‘my friends’ and all other people that wanted to put me down swiftly.
Maybe today is the day to finally put a stop to this.
From this moment I would like to be addressed accordingly. No longer will I tolerate them playing games with me, not through my name, not through their gossip nor their slander. I am Marie Christine and I stand tall in my name. Because it is my name that connects me to the divine and it is this exact connection that I crave the most.
Marie,
Marie Christine,
Catherine,
Justine,
Mickey.
This text is an open reflection.
More guided, integrative essays are gathered in my paid essay series on Ko-fi.
“Names have power.”




Okay my dear, i will try to honer it and correct and forgive me if i use the wrong name.